So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
