what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Actions speak louder than pants.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
