apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
