Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
