I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
