Where is the hickey?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
