yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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