He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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