A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
