I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
