yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
