I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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