how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need moral support for this bender
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
