They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
