Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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