it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
