maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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