If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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