whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
