Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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