he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
