look no pants
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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