So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
PANTIES FOUND
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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