i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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