So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I could make wine with my vomit
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
