Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize