At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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