I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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