All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
