how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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