these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
