I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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