i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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