he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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