Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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