By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i think i just lost a toe
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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