I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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