You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
