at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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