I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
