Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
