Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
