if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
