We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
