a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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