Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
