I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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