But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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