and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
