how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
