Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize