My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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