i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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