She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize