going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
