did you get engaged???
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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