I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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