I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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