a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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