she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think your dad took our porno
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
