Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
