as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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