I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
