I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
