Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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