Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm passing your future prison.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
