There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
