if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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