dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
