Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
