He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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