Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
