forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
