i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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